Because being dignified is just not allowed.

XD

I found an MSc in Quantum Technologies. I'd been under the impression that there were no MScs to do with Quantum (the Physics fashon seems to be Nuclear Power atm, which is annoying), and I've found one! There was a poster-advert about it next to the third-year pidgeon-holes, so I copied down everything about it. ^_^

They want a 2:1 in a revelvant undergrad, but hopefully the 'relevant' will be more important than the '2:1'. I don't want to hang all my hopes on getting a 2:1, though I'd like one and think I'll manage, because if I do I will DIE FROM STRESS. My BSc project is a computational project about spin chains and quantum information. I did a summer project on quantum transport. That's got to count towards me, right?

And the best bit? It's in Leeds! Close to here! That means I can still LARP! (Because that's the important thing? O_o) It's also a direct bus to Durham from Leeds, too, rather than 'change at x', so it'll be cheaper to get to Steve's on a whim (inter-city bus Leeds-Durham, local bus Durham-Consett).

Yay!

Do I have a skewed expectation of shared housing? I'd think my experience would have been fairly general

In my first year, I was in halls with five to eight people on my floor sharing my kitchen (including Steve), depending on whether Sherry and her boyfriend were staying in her room or his, and whether Kat was at her parent's house. We generally socialised in our rooms or were 'out', we all cooked in the kitchen (except Horen) and ate in the kitchen (except Sherry), and socialisation in the 'communal' area was pretty much limited to 'let us have small talk while we cook/eat'.

Second year, I was in a titchy four bed house with two of those floor-mates and Steve, with three Physicists and one of their floormates next door. With those two floormates, we carried on more or less as before - those of us with tutoral work tended to do some of it in the living room a little more than we had, but socialisation generally happened either in next door's living room (it was large enough for all eight of us to play a board game or whatever), or in one or other of the bedrooms. We occasionally did a communal meal - stir fry, or a roast dinner, or corned beef hash.

Over the summer, I was in a house where everyone was paying for their room and use of the kitchen/bathroom/living room, all on different lets. We had a mix of people who would eat in the living room or in their bedroom - in general, depending on whether the person could carry the food safely to their room. Sometimes there would be more than one person in the living room, and a small amount of chat would occur, or someone would have the telly on (there was the awesome once when me and Claudia were critiquing Sharpe). Not often, though. And the house was often silent by eleven-ish. I think Hannah had someone who wasn't her boyfriend over once for beer and pizza, and I hardly heard a peep from them.

This is possibly why I'm not coping so well with this house. My housemates are friendly together, and socialise, with great enthusiasm, in the communal area (which is right outside my bedroom, rather than downstairs or across the walkway). I'm just not used to this. I'm also not cool with the idea (or rather, the reality) of multiple extra people suddenly being in the house, even if they're friends, for film-watching or whatever all at once - a couple of people who turn up on the sometimes and are quiet and there to visit someone, sure, but events occurring right outside my bedroom, when I don't get any say in the matter? Yuck.

I guess I'm used to the idea of a shared house being a place to sleep and cook and work if you're lucky, rather than all this socialness happening at all hours.

I have to go into uni today to pay my tuition fees, no matter how I feel. The deadline is today, and the opening times for the finance office fail. Not sure I'll get to lectures, but given that I have to go in, I might. Extra weight from notebooks might decide me against that, though. Still fevering, and have decided to attribute Wednesday's health to my obscene luck, which knew I wanted to do to LARP (It often gives me what I want rather than what I need). As I'll be going out, may as well stop by Costcutter for milk and cheese and 'shrooms - I keep feeling guilty for drinking milk, given that I haven't left the house for shopping in a week, now. OTOH, milk is heavy. Custard pots, too. Need more fat. And breakfast food. And chocky. Mmm, chocky. Broth? Yesterday my eating was three crackers with cheese, and a tin of chicken broth. And then sleep took hours, because my head was spinning and there were people outside my door so I couldn't relax myself and sleep. Tonight I think I shall lock my door and have three cups of water rather than two, because then I don't need to worry about things. Except not waking up and no-one being able to get to me. But that's why I like having a Steve with me while I'm not well. Steve got sent away. I think I will have to say 'no' to housemates saying that 'guests can only stay 7 days out of every month' thing, because if they'd said that before I signed the contract, I wouldn't have signed the contract. I asked if there was any guest policy, and just got told that one housemate's girlfriend was staying for a month. I get that people don't want to share space with someone they didn't agree to, but they didn't agree to me, really, and Steve-visits, frequent Steve-visits, comes along with me being a housemate, and that's why I asked how they felt about guests. Because if Steve couldn't stay with me here (particularly if there is a time when he gets a job here and there is a wait on moving into a real house), then I would have found another living place.

Also, most of you guys are awesome. Really awesome. ...I should go and go to the tuition fees before our lecture starts, so I can say 'I will go to the lecture' or 'I won't go to the lecture because I'm too ill' rather than have it decided because I'm too late. Will have to walk, maybe. Um.Or change from long skirt to trousers to can cycle. Why does not eating make me feel sick? I had tea...

You know I said I thought I was getting better? The tiny amount of sneezing from yesterday seems to have, instead of going away entirely, turning into giant dripping nose of doom. I might get in for my second lecture today, but I'bve already missed the first (and a careers talk I was looking forward to. Woe).

So, people of my f-list, who's actually going to manage to get to LARP tonight despite the horrible horrible illness that's going around?

For me, the headache seems to be all that's left, but I've been on one (small) meal a day for three days. So we'll see what I'm like after an early supper.

My neck is stupidly swollen, food is probably a good idea but I can bring myself to do some, and Steve has just left for home. Someone decided to tell him he wasn't welcome here any more while I was lying feverish in the other room being utterly dependent. This means that more painkillers and anti-pyretics will be required if I want to get through the whole 'flu thing without losing all the body-fat I've managed to build up from the restricted diet. Blech.

( Everyone is ill! )

Yay roleplay! That was brilliant, I'm glad we got to talk to those ones - I was running ahead of the party for most of the mission in the hopes of getting a word in edgeways before the humans killed them. Rargh. But, of course, I'm no good at just starting off on a spiel, so Levan kept getting there first and they kept dying and I felt all guilty and stuff. Even when they were attacking us. Conflict! Yay!

I really hope things don't go badly as soon as we leave...

Whatever illness Steve brought down with him seems to have caught up with me as well. I'm wrapped up in my dressing gown and sewing, and I don't think I'm going to help out on the stall today. Blech. Hopefully if I rest well today, I'll be better enough for LARP on Sunday and lectures on Monday. Steve seems to be a hell of a lot better today, yesterday he was awful, day before it was just getting started. Hopefully, this is my 'awful' day.

I can has essay-writing though, I guess.

ETA: Though I probably cannot has Wendy House. Even if I do feel better before it, do I really want to be in a different city to my bed? If seems that just about everyone in my house is ill of some sort at the moment - one's unable to sleep, another has fresher's flu, and then there's me and Steve with this.

Maybe next month. *sad*

Wendy House is occurring on Saturday. We are intending to go to Wendy House on Saturday. It is the birthday of beast_the_yeti at some point in the vicinity, and also term will have started without getting started, so it's good for the workload.

I've google-maps'd Leeds Station to University of Leeds Student's Union, and it seems to be a fair way. I remember last time I was there (for World of Physics) and we took so many wrong turns (apparently some of the signs had actually been spun; I didn't think that really happened) and ended up taking the free bus back. Apparently the free bus stops running at about half seven, though, so that's no good for this time. Hmm. We'll manage.

Who is coming too?

I got my second choice, and Claire thinks she did, too (can't remember her list). I've got Band Soc Ben as my partner, which is awesome - he's one of the few people who I've managed to have a proper completely work-orientated conversation with. (Most of us TPs submitted individually with the understanding that they'd probably get paired with another TP, rather than submitting as a pair).

I'm not sure how I'm going to fair - particularly as the book I've got on the subject is being recalled by the library tomorrow. I'm hoping that someone else takes theirs back first, so I'll keep checking back on the catalouge system to see if I can renew. I might buy a copy, actually - it's a really useful book. (Amazon wants 27 quid for it. Hmm.)

( Thoughts on queerness, feminism, self identity and community )

Now I'm really glad that I self-locked my angst post yesterday. Given the current size of my boobs, I think it was whoremones.

Also, yay watching St. Trinian's with people yesterday, even if I did have to turn off my earliest alarm this morning. ^_^

Lunch!

I may have broken down a bit while on the way to a meeting with my supervisor. Um. Note to self: stop panicking. Four days of project left (three, now). Seven days 'till term starts. Not going to worry about buying my train ticket until I'm at the station on Saturday.

Though, I do seem to have gotten into a thing of 'if I eat more, everything will be fine'. I can't help but think that this sounds similar to people who go 'when I've lost weight, I'll become pretty/popular/coupled/employed and everything will be great'. Getting over the nine stone mark mightn't make everything better, but it'll mean that I'll have more energy to draw on.

...I best send some emails, and then go and get some more books from the library.

Stopped eating (probable) poison. Had a weekend full of Steve cooking big meat-and-potatoes-tastic meals for me, and feel a bit better. Blood test occurred - will make an appointment with Doctor Griffith when the results come back (she's the one monitoring my iron, anyway).

Planning to go visit my parents at the weekend, and pick up my nice warm dressing gown. Discovered that at least one of my housemates has had the good idea of turning the heating on - by stretching my arms out along the sofa-back and encountering hot radiator. Also discovered that my radiator-tap was closed, opened it so as to gain benefit from any heating that is going to go through the house.

Went to the supermarket and did a giant shop because Steve brought his dad's car down with him. Lots of dry, tinned and gluten-free food now resides in my cupboard (spent two weeks of food budget, but the food bought will last longer than that).

Term-time soon. Gah.

Seriously guys, I've lost 4kg in the last two weeks and now I can count my ribs in the mirror and my brain isn't thinky. Want to cry. Scared. Tired.

http://community.livejournal.com/sf_drama/2497364.html <-- The post.

To be fair, the comments are the real squee.

http://lumumba.uhasselt.be/~areander/animorphs/ <-- A link found in comments. ALL THE BOOKS EVEN THE ONES I HAVEN'T READ!

So, yesterday I started this 'gluten challenge' thing, in which I have to eat as much wheat, barley, rye and spelt as possible over the next week ready for a blood test next wednesday, and my stomach spent the whole of this morning trying to convince me never to eat again.

I had a beef burger for lunch, and a piece of bread with my supper. I felt fine last night, but since about quarter to seven this morning (when I got up, needing to get a lift with Steve's dad to Darlington to catch the train back to York and work) it's been constant nausea and please-don't-put-food-near-me-but-I'm-hungry. I got a hot chocolate and a pastry thing at York station, and it helped a bit. Hope that the pastry doesn't try to escape too badly when it's being digested, though.

It's weird. The last few weeks I've kept going all 'That bread smells so good!' whenever I go into a shop, but I have no desire whatsoever to actually eat any. Eating the burger bap yesterday felt a bit like eating candyfloss, to be honest. You chew it and taste it and stuff, but it's not food, as such. Pointless.

...It occurs to me that it's one o'clock in the afternoon and I haven't eaten any food that my body will recognise as food yet today. Lunch!

( Bold the things which apply... )